Wednesday, July 28, 2010

This is the last I will have to say on the subject. Because it's true and you know it.

I've actually been having a really good week on the whole. My new job is perfect (except not being full time), I had some other good news, and the weather has been great.

I've also been hearing a lot about people talking about me. I'm upset. It never feels good to have people saying nasty (and inaccurate) things about you behind your back. Then I thought about who could have been saying these things and would have chosen to say them in such a way.

Oh, right! I cut that person out of my life a while ago and this is exactly why. My point has been proven at least 10 times over. I know I made the right choice. There is not a doubt in my mind. But I also know that from the outside it looks very different, and that is why I can't let it go. Rather than talk to me, people talked about me with someone who I'd barely spoken to in months, and whose own personal life choices have been far, far less than stellar.

To this person, all the things he has said about me, and anyone else who may have aided him in this venture intentionally, or not, I say this:

I am brilliant. I am extremely talented, I'm pretty, I am honest, and I am far more kind to others than I am to myself. I didn't drink until I was 21 and I will never do drugs. I won concerto competitions when I was 13 and 17. I win 75% of the auditions I choose to take. My AP scores in high school? 3, 3, 4, 4, 5. I can pitch a softball at 60 mph. I was on varsity by my sophomore year. I was in the senior choir sophomore year. I played a song I wrote in front of my entire school freshman year for the talent show. They loved it. They wouldn't stop cheering for a solid minute and a half when I went on stage the next year, athankyouverymuch. I wrote a 240 page webcomic. I can paint like woah. My cat? She fucking loves me. My family? Crazy, but amazing. Best brothers on the face of the planet. I stood up for my best friend in front of 15 17-year old girls one summer. Her mother will love me forever. I am hilarious. I graduated cum laude with my BM at 22. I have 1 homework assignment, 1 short final, and my exit exam left before I graduate with my MM at 25, so stop telling people to pity me because I "didn't graduate on time." I'm a hell of a lot more accomplished than 90% of the people I know are involved in this and I have a lot more to be proud of and happy about than any of you even know.

Ya'll can stfu. Thanks.

Aaaaaand, we're done. :)

Monday, July 12, 2010

I have an interview today!
Plus I'm walking that adorable dog!
Plus I had a great date with a really, really cute guy last night. Hope he likes me back. For reals, though. :)
And I am going running. It is happening.


Let's not lie, though. I'm not going running, that boy is probably never going to call me again, I feel super crappy right now because the delicious, delicious food I got on said date was also super heavy and I'm being petty-pissy because someone I offered a favor to is now taking that and using it as license to be less polite than strictly necessary. People being less polite than strictly necessary may be my greatest anger inducer and the root of all my problems. Maybe.
Just sayin'.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

This is how things don't get done.

To be fair to myself, I have applied to 6 jobs in the last 24 hours, and I have dog walking and flute teaching happening. On to the story of my life right now:

On the non-productive, slightly agoraphobic side of things, I haven't been getting out much. At all. It's kind of hard to get out when I have no money and I'm awake from 2 PM to 9 AM. By the time I'm ready to go do stuff things are closing. It's also not helpful for my mental state, but that is it's own very special mess. Downward spiral. Let's pretend it's not happening. Moving on.

Now, one of my major life goals is to write, draw, and publish my own comic. This is something I can work on in the wee hours of the morning, so that is what I did last night. Thing is, I like to research. If I'm gonna do this, it is going to be good. So this is how last night went down.

Character idea! Drawn, inked, colored. Bam.
Character needs a name. Find one.
Research themes.
Research main plot device.
Distracted by John Titor and the works of Robert A. Heinlein.
Back on track! Time travel leads to parallel universes, which leads to the chronology of all the games in Zelda video game canon (which brings up more questions than it answers), which leads to the destruction of my greatest fictional childhood crush.
Simultaneously, I am researching Ambien Zombies, because I can't remember anything after I take it. Which leads me to Fatal Familial Insomnia. Crazy things in the world.
Back to comic. Character needs a theme-relevant tattoo.
All the while Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends is running in the background. There is an episode with Cylon carrots. Amazing cartoon gets 20 more amazing points. Am reminded that I am basically Blooregard Q. Kazoo, who, in the real world, would function much like Liz Lemon. Who I also, basically, am.

I am not even going to tell you how sad that last statement just made me.

It's not that I'm not getting things done. It's just that, well, I think we all understand the problems here. Let's leave it and hope this comic ends up being good so I can justify this.